Bacon, brain freeze, and blackouts

Today I decided to get a bacon cheeseburger. Sure, I’ve made better decisions in my life, but sometimes you just know that a bacon cheeseburger is precisely the most delicious thing you could shove into your face and you must have one NOW. I had that kind of moment today. So I went to the dining hall at Gresham and asked for a bacon cheeseburger, which I have successfully done more times than I’d care to admit. This conversation ensued.

Employee (we’ll call him Hans, just for shits and giggles): A bacon…okay…bacon cheese…what?

Me: A bacon cheeseburger.

Hans: A…um…what’s that?

Me: Um, a cheeseburger…with bacon on it.

Hans: What? Okay, um…you want a cheeseburger with a side of bacon?

Me: No, a cheeseburger with bacon on it. (I was beginning to consider giving up at this point.)

Hans: Okay, let’s see…

And then he handed me a cheeseburger and a bowl full of bacon.

I think I probably gave him an actual “what the FUCK” look, but all I said was “Uh, okay, I guess that’ll work.” And then I walked through the dining hall carrying my cheeseburger and a bowl of bacon like a dumbass who doesn’t know how to order a bacon cheeseburger. By the time I sat down, the bacon was simultaneously slippery and crumbly, so I ended up eating a cheeseburger full of tiny bacon shards. Not entirely satisfying.

Also, today I got a call from the apartment complex office, letting me know that the smoke alarm had been going off and the maintenance guys went in to check it out. I don’t want to outright blame the one girl who smokes all kinds of things inside (despite having been told to fucking stop it), but let’s just call her a likely suspect. I was so tempted to say on the phone, “oh, was my housemate smoking pot in her room again?” but I didn’t, because I try not to be a jackass (other than on this blog, where I give myself free jackass reign).

In more pleasant news, this weekend I got to see one of my closest friends. I don’t really have friends in town (or in state, really) so it’s a rarity to be able to actually talk to a friend face to face. I was excited enough about it, though, that my anxiety kicked into hyperspeed. I wasn’t anxious as in “nervous,” just as in “OH FUCK MY BRAIN WON’T STOP.” It took me awhile to settle down, but regardless, it was a wonderful hour or so and it made me even happier to have this person as a friend. You rock, L. 🙂

So tomorrow is the dreaded-and-anticipated internet blackout. I know at least Reddit and Wikipedia are going black for some time, I think WordPress is too, and I’m sure there are others. The point of it is that if SOPA and PIPA do pass, the structure and nature of the internet are threatened, and this blackout is a little taste of what we could be dealing with if the bills do pass. So while I’m biting my nails at the prospect of being unable to fuck around on Reddit all day, I understand the importance of the protest. If SOPA and PIPA pass, there might not be a Reddit on which to fuck around. Then where would I find fantastic things like…

This collection of a few reasons why religion is an irredeemably destructive force.

(I probably could’ve found a smoother way to segue into that, but whatever, there it is.)


Posted on 17 January 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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