Could it be…SATAN?!

Obviously, that title refers to one of the best Saturday Night Live characters in the history of EVER.

Social networking can be a really fantastic thing. I like keeping in touch with people I’d otherwise lose contact with–awesome TAs from undergrad, random people from high school, Internet friends, etc. I freely admit to being an occasional facebook creeper, not in the I’m-gonna-stalk-you-and-kill-you sense, but more in the sense of rubbernecking. Like when you drive past something really scary like a fiery wreck or something really cool like well-done graffiti. Whatever the reason, you don’t want to miss out.

I sort of wish I’d missed out on this one, though.

Because I’m not a complete jerkface, I’ve blocked out names and pictures, but I’ve color-coded them so you can keep track of who’s who. I’m the purple one, because purple is the best color. Fact.

Let me just emphasize that charming insight. “Yes I do think there is no WAY that 3 black males at night have good intentions surrounding anyone’s car…”

Apparently, according to “A,” it’s totally okay for me (a white woman) to walk out to a parking lot, maybe with some friends, walk up to a red ’97 Buick (I ride in style, yo), start to get in only to realize that oh shit, that isn’t my car, and the people inside definitely are weirded out. Yeah, that’s legit. Now, substitute three black men in my place and OMG MURDER SATAN WORTHLESS SCARY EVIL! Also, apparently, these men should be “caught” for “committing crimes.” Yes, because walking by K’s car, creepily or not, is totally against the law, right?

It isn’t that I’m trying to make this a race issue. I mean, I’m pretty sure “A” made it a race issue to begin with, but I hesitated to pick up on that, because you know how people like to turn that shit right back around (“Oh, you had to go and make it about race! Now who’s the racist?”). I’m not trying to make it a race issue, because “A” got there far before I did. She also hopped aboard the Religious Crazy Train with “Satan’s helpers swarming [yo]ur car.” And then she went full-on batshit insane with “THEY ARE SERVING NO PURPOSE” and implying that the men were unemployed deadbeats (I’m being really generous when I say “implying”). I really hope that Disney movie she watched before bed wasn’t “Song of the South.”

And then we have “D,” she of the classy “Laura ur a moron” (I only blocked out my name for consistency’s sake). Fun fact: “D,” in sixth grade, vandalized the school playground with some phrase about me being a lesbian. In green nail polish, for whatever reason. Funner fact: Turns out, I am a lesbian. Anyway, I really enjoyed how, after I called her out on bullying me in elementary school and insulting me on facebook, the best response she could give was a smiley face. To be clear, I’m not looking for any kind of response from her about it, but I really enjoyed putting “ur a moron” in context. I don’t think I’m too far off-base in thinking that a smiley face is a pretty cowardly response (although, “A” seems to think it’s just adorable).

In all honesty, I don’t give a single microscopic fuck about the name-calling and banter here. I have been, however, profoundly disturbed by the racism and knee-jerk religious insanity. I have a sociology degree, I work in a field that strongly emphasizes diversity and social justice, I make a point to read the most repugnant shit on the internet, I believe in the power of knowing your enemy. It still blows my mind, somehow, that people I’ve known since I was a kid apparently hold beliefs and attitudes that are mainstream in white supremacist circles. I’m not naive; I know that shit is everywhere, I’m just privileged enough to be surprised when I’m smacked in the face with it.

Oh, and no. It isn’t Satan. There’s no such thing as devils or demons. They’re a fun rhetorical device and a fun Halloween costume, but then again so are unicorns.


Posted on 21 November 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. 57th and College? Are you in Milwaukee?

  2. Nope…that’s referring to Indianapolis, although I’m not in Indy.

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